People have addictions which seem incomprehensible to people who don't
have those addictions. Take gambling for example; non gamblers just don'
t know how or why someone would spend every available opportunity
to sit down in a casino and willingly dispose of all of their money. From some other
view it looks like unbelievable stupidity. It seems to become a boring, repetitious
and frustrating hobby at best. On a logical level we wonder why those
people haven't worked out that 'the house always wins'. The gambler loves
to bop around and brag concerning the times he did win despite the fact that all of us see
that the final outcome is that he doesn't have home, no money in the bank along with a
huge credit debt. Yet, on a small winning streak he can be completely
oblivious to this fact. Without analyzing all of the complexities of the gambling
addiction, we can summarize it as being this: The gamblers belief in winning the large
one is greater than his belief in the reality of what has happened, what is
happening and what will predictably happen. In a nutshell, the dream is more
real compared to reality.
The same can be said for drugs, alcohol, food, cigarettes, sex and all sorts of
addictions. The reality of an addicts life might be sheer devastation but
the belief that one more of whatever will be what the dream expects itself to
Surely that a dream can hook into a compartment within the mind
and become completely embedded. It is just like a sacred place also it contains
all we want. It could be wealth, happiness, love, security or whatever. We
have the ability to desires so we have the ability to dreams so we have the ability to a place in out minds
in which we live out those possibilities. The gambler may have originally
were built with a dream of a large win. He probably had a handful of good wins initially
and that reinforced the dream. Somehow though, the gambler became
hooked on the dream. The large win turns into a primary point of reference
as well as in time all experiences loop to that point of reference. That is, all
information and each experience gets filtered through the point of reference.
Some label this classic denial. I call it 'The happy place'.
It seems impossible to talk logic or facts for an addict. They remove what
you say; they may make believe you listen, or they argue with you or blank you
out completely. Their eyes glaze over, their ears shut you out of trouble and you may
almost hear them singing lah, lah lah while you speak. They have gone to the
This is probably familiar to those who have were built with a relationship with someone
using these major addictions. What's less obvious is that most of us
are operating under a much the same pattern - and that is: Obsession.
Obsessions can be hidden or often seem harmless or even a little quirky.
Another person's obsession might be boring to all of us, but we do not pay much
attention as we are rarely impacted by these to any real degree. Many of us
don't even know that we're obsessed. Yes, we all have our little happy
places so we all filter facts to match our delusions. But, for many people, we
are destroying our way of life or at least our potential lives.